MOVED!

amentohumour.livejournal.com

Nerves of butter.



This is loosely translated as :

10 Promises to my Dog

Can somebody please exclaim what the fuck?

What kinda daft movie is this?Who the hell makes promises to their dogs?I mean,its not like it's gonna understand what you're saying right?It'll just wag it's tail and do a giant poop before scarpering off and leaving you to clean the mess.

Anyway here's the top ten promises you CAN make to your dog:

Thou shall,

1) Always remember to feed daily instead of weekly.

2) Not call SPCA the moment it gobbles up your homework.

3) Not force the dog to do OT by using it as a security dog at night.

4) Stop using ceramic dishes to play fetch with it.

5) Not put the dog in a hand bag cause not only do you risk your belonging getting do do-ed on,it also looks kinda gay(You know you're guilty here,Miss Hilton).

6) Stop making it sit,stand or rollover.Just let it laze around already!

7) Not dress up your dog in stupid costumes or tie ribbons to it.Hello people,that's what mannequins are for!

8) Recognise your dog as men's best friend.That is until another bitch comes along(GIRLFRIEND/WIFE).

9) Never attempt to eat your dog.For all the constantly ravenous people,it's a living breathing organism,NOT A HOT DOG.

10) NEVER.BRING.YOUR.DOG.TO.CHINA.

Got back my accounts paper today.Thank god it's still ok.Congratulations candy,i kowtow to you!

:D

Reaching for the half gap.



It's that time of year again!C'mon people,let the festivities commence!Sing along now!

"Happy birthday to me!
Happy birthday to me!
Bacardi and vodka!
Are waiting for me!"

Oh yes!One more year and i can stroll into any shop,look the auntie in the eye...and purchase my soya bean drink...Hell no!But you know what it is!Exhilaration!

Anyway today was a blast.Thanks to all the people who wished me a Happy pop-out-of-womb day.Thanks Bestie(En) for the uber long message!Many more years to come i assure you that! To my wonderful class that gave me a surprise and diverted my attention from my fish soup to the cake,I LOVE YOU.Erm the dudes.Don't take this literally.HAHAHAHAHAHA!Thanks dad and mom for conceiving me and allowing me to spice up your life(YOU AGREE RIGHT?!LOL!).Thanks to dad for buying my durian cake which was in fact a durian.Or more like five durians.Mhmmmm!PUAN you owe me dinner.Sweetttttttttttt!

But you know what's the weirdest thing?I just remembered my birthday fell on the 3rd of july.And i wouldn't have noticed if janelle hadn't been asking me...

OMG MAN!SEE!THIS IS THE MUGGER HARD AT WORK!STUDY UNTIL CANNOT REMEMBER PERSONAL STUFF!GOOD JOB CHOW! :) :) :)

Though i think i need to go see a doctor for some miracle cure for short term memory...

Plus plus plus,i found new eye candy!WOOTS!So all in all...A GOOD DAY!

:D

My baby takes the morning train.



MSTs are over!No more mugging till wee hours in the morning!WHOOPEE!

Headed down to DONFORT to get my testimonials today with chan and en.Yeap saw loads of old faces on the way there.The testimonial is bull crap man.HOW THE HELL CAN I BE PROFICIENT IN CHINESE WHEN I GOT A FUCKING D7 ON FIRST ATTEMPT?!Unbelievable!

Watched DON'T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN.It was freaking hilarious i can tell you that.But it was kinda gross when he screwed all those old bitches.Ugh.Luckily i didn't have much in me tummy.BING BANG BOOM! :) :) :)

Oooh!on the way back from gym,i saw a familiar(ok i'm careful about the spelling here thanks to some angel correcting me on this)face!Woots!So happy since i haven't seen her for like what?Eons?!Yes yes.Picture the ten mega watt smile on my face now!

:D

Ground control to Major Tom.

Finally got the pics from candy.Here's the:

TOP TEN TWIT POSES!



1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!

7!



8!



9!

10!

After you've finished emptying the big bucket of vomit that's been steadily increasing through out the last ten pictures,you can continue reading...

Me and suf!









Fellow PIG buddies!

ARGH!PAPERS ON MONDAY!SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!NOT READY YET!!!

:D

The Truth (Not really).

Pork asked me to do.Anyway it seems kinda fun,so lets pop the hood shall we?

#1 If your lover betrayed you, what will your first reaction be?

"Thank god i won't be waking up to the same old ugly face 10 years down the road"

#2 If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

"If my dreams came true this would be some fucked up world man."

#3 What will your dream wedding be like?

"Saying the I-dos on a motorcycle as i steal the bride away."

#4 Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?

"Holy shit.Am i on Oprah?"

#5 What's your ideal lover like?

"Ellen page,Kate Beckinsale,that smoking hot chick from 200 pound beauty and G***."

#6 Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

"How about i-don't-fucking-know?"

#7 How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?

"Sorry lady,first come first serve basis."

#8 If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

"Wait wait wait.This person...HOW HOT IS SHE FIRST?!"

#9 Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?

"My period no come yet.HAHAHAHAHA!JUST KIDDING :D"

#10 Are you in love or being loved now?

"Mum and Dad love me.Who else do i need now? :D"

#11 How do you see yourself in ten years time?

"On the cover of Men's health.HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

#12 Who are currently the most important people to you?

"The two genetic scientists who made me"

#13 What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?

"A moron and a retard.Just like me."

#15 What's the first thing you do every morning?

"Go back to sleep again."

#16 Would you give your all in a relationship?

"Huh?!Give my all?!Then what about the next one?HAHAHAHAHA!"

#17 If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?

"The one wearing black spectacles"

#18 What type of friends do you like?

"The type that jumps off rooftops on a $2 bet!"

#19 What type of friends do you dislike?

"PUAN!REVENGE!HAHAHAHAHA!"

The five people to do this:

Lou and Puan.You brought out the jackass/jerk in me!HAHAHAHA!

Perception's blind spot.



The previous week has been kinda tiring but fun all the while.Had class chalet and it was the bombxz!I am a qualified level five pig so all you talkative people out there beware.

I've been wondering about some stuff.

Is it cowardice on my part to actually start afresh?Beneath all the excuses i've given,i guess i can't really fool myself.Since the first,its been a continual process of picking and giving up.I thought with the last the chain would probably be broken but alas...Perhaps i didn't do a complete job thats why its never properly ended.Is this like some sort of sadistic irony?I hope it isn't.I can only trust in the above right now.I dare not hope as hope only clouds perception.

Rambling aside.I'm terribly worried about the coming MSTs.I have to get that freaking 3.5 or above.Shizzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.Mugging the whole of next week.Seriously.Like O'level time.Ok maybe not like O'level time since most of the time spent with the gang at the cafe was spent playing PSP,eating and oogling at girls(Yeap yeap,Puan knows who).God,how the heck did i pass my O's?!But you get what i mean...


:D